I enjoy technology. I use it for personal and business purposes. I love that I can connect with people who live in a different state or another country. While there are many negative uses to social media, there is a positive use to it and that is connecting with people you would not have the opportunity to because you don’t live near one another.  There are several people that I connected with online and have had the pleasure of meeting off-line and developing connections that have lasted for years. However, there’s another side to social media that can hinder people. I’ve seen it.

As with anything involving people on social media, you have to be careful about the integrity of what you are reading and who you are engaging. There are times when clicking the down arrow on a post in your news-feed and clicking unfollow is a wise move! There are a variety of reasons to unfollow and at times to unfriend completely. This post is focused on unfollowing and there is one area I want to focus on and that is COMPARISON.

Yes, yes, the dreaded comparison trap. It can hinder your goals, create confusion, even dismantle your dream(s) or mess with your purpose. Yes, it can be that serious if you’re not careful.

When you find you are comparing your life to someone else on social media, it’s time to click that down arrow and select – unfollow immediately.  I can hear you now: “Lisa, that’s so cruel…that’s so unnecessary.” Friends, it may seem cruel but it’s not cruel to the person to unfollow. The cruelty is really toward yourself if you are comparing yourself in any way to someone else as it will have an affect on you. If you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection or fear of disappointment then certain posts can hinder your progress forward or create an opening for you to have sabotaging thoughts.  Be aware of how you are processing (filtering) their posts. How do you know if you are dealing with the comparison trap? If you are saying things like the following:

I’m not worthy
I just can’t do what she does
I wish I had her ____________(fill in the blank)
I wish I looked like her
I wish my spouse behaved like hers
I wish my kids made those grades all the time
I can’t seem to reach my target audience the way she (he) does
They are so much better at this than I am

And those thoughts may then lead to negative feelings…

Maybe I should just quit trying
I’m so discouraged
I feel so depressed
Why is my life this way?
I hate ________ (fill in the blank)
I’m never going to ______ (fill in the blank)
I feel like a failure
I’m getting off social media (that may not be a bad thing)

If you are experiencing any of these comparison traps then it may be time to unfollow. It’s also a good way to remain on a person’s page to connect when it feels right for you, while also stopping the constant posts showing up on your news-feed that feed any types of negative thoughts about yourself.

Now, let’s talk on the other side of that unfollow. If you are unfollowing due to comparison concerns there may also be a need to get with a certified, caring and good coach that can help you with specific areas of challenge such as negative thoughts, feeling stuck, needing assistance with discovering your own voice, finding your focus or perhaps dealing with areas of insecurity or sabotage so that you can emerge and be the amazing, powerful, courageous woman God has created you to be.

I love all of my clients (read: What I Envision For My Clients), but I am especially blessed by the women that I coach that are transparent and courageous about tough areas and get the help that is needed. They see great turnaround in their lives. It’s not God’s will for us to compare or to compete with one another as women but rather to support one another and thrive in who He’s called us to be and in what He’s purposed us to do.

Don’t be ashamed to get that help if you need it. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re smart and courageous! Feel free to contact me if you want that support and let’s talk about what’s next for you — freedom and great success!

Cheering you on!

Lisa Shaw is the founder and owner of LisaShawCares, LLC. As a speaker, certified personal and executive coach, leadership consultant and author, she enjoys the privilege of equipping women of different ages, stages and backgrounds to really live the life they envision personally and professionally. For more information visit Lisa at LisaShawCares.com

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