I’ll be the first to admit, I have a short attention span. In fact I often joke that my attention span is as short as that of the children I teach. Case in point, I was recently cleaning my house when I got distracted by my old journals and other notebooks I’ve written in over the years. So I found myself instead of cleaning, sitting down reading through journals that dated back to the 1990’s. In one of the more recent ones I found a letter I had written to God.
Usually if I’m unable to voice my thoughts to I put pen to paper. Hence, I’ve written many letters over the years with the greeting, Dear Jesus… I’ll share the one I referred to with you.
It’s 2:21 am and needless to say I’m in the midst of a bad case of insomnia. So I thought since I can’t sleep and you never sleep I’d write you a letter.
Someone said something that upset me today. I don’t think it was meant to hurt me but, it did. Tonight I kept tossing and turning wondering, am I crazy to still trust you, still believe your promises, still have faith?
There are times, I admit, when it feels like I am but, how can I not?
To stop believing, for me is to stop living.
How can I get beyond difficult times if I don’t trust that you will make it better?
How can I tell others about the God I serve if I don’t believe you’ll stand by your word?
The truth is that I don’t understand you sometimes. Let’s be real, I don’t understand you most of the times but, I have faith in you.
I will always have faith in you!
I will always trust you!
Trusting you always,
After I finished reading the letter, I thought back to the circumstances under which I had written it. It wasn’t anything major, but it was something that had caused me pain so I wanted to talk it over with Jesus. He is the first person I want to talk to whatever I’m faced with in life. I know He’s the only one who is able to still the voices of doubt in my head. For he has said in his word,
Matt: 25:28 (AMP) Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
I remember that after I’d poured out my heart in that letter to Jesus that night I turned out my light and went to sleep, knowing that I had given my cares and worries to him. In exchange he gave me exactly what he promised, rest for my soul.
Over the years, in my walk with Jesus I’ve had my share of nights like the one I mentioned. However, there is one thing I am sure of; Jesus is always there, he has promised never to leave us or forsake us… even at 2:21a.m in the morning.
Bernadine McIntosh is a child of God, born and raised in a small town in the Bahamas. She’s a quietly opinionated bookworm who loves family, friends, coffee, laughter and Jesus, just not necessarily in that order. You can often find Bernadine curled up in her favorite chair reading a book or writing in one. She is a work in progress whose desire is to live a life that honors God and to tell others of His love for them. Please connect with Bernadine at her blog: Trusting Him with Today.