Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
In my previous post, “The Prayer that will Change Your Marriage” I said I would share the difference between praying for or about your husband. I pray that this will encourage you.
“Dear God, I’m so frustrated with my husband! He never hears me! I feel like I’m invisible! He doesn’t engage me! I love him but I just can’t seem to make him change! He’s a good man but he needs You to do something inside of him! I can’t take it any more! He needs to change and I pray in Jesus Name for this change to happen quickly, please God!!”
“Abba Father, I am so grateful for my marriage. I love my husband very much and I know he loves me but we are having some problems and we need Your wisdom, direction and divine intervention. I feel as though he doesn’t hear my heart on certain issues and perhaps I’m not hearing his. I want us to speak lovingly to each other and be patient with each other during this time in our marriage of disagreement. I ask for Your divine intervention—help us to see and hear You in the midst of our marriage. Please help us to glorify You in our marriage and to love each other in a manner that is pleasing to You. I trust You and I place every care in Your hand. I love You and thank You for working in my husband’s heart and in mine. I pray in Jesus Name Amen.”
Which prayer do you think represents a wife who is praying about her husband? Which one represents that she is praying for her husband? What is the difference between the two prayers?
The first prayer represents a wife who is frustrated and perhaps feeling as if there’s no hope for her marriage to change. In her frustration she prays about her husband as opposed to praying for her husband. The second prayer is a wife who is also frustrated and in need of God’s touch in her marriage but she has made the decision to pray for her husband, herself and their marriage. The difference is the second wife is determined to see her husband through God’s eyes and not through her frustration.
The difference is mind-set and view point. Everything in our lives is based on a decision. We can operate out of the angst of a situation or we can pray out of a heart to see it resolved God’s way. That’s not always easy when you’re dealing with problems in your marriage that are hurting you. I was the woman in example one in the first few years of our marriage. I prayed about my husband. I adored him but I wanted him to change. I prayed with the focus on his problems until God showed me I needed to first pray for God to change me. I also needed to pray for my husband through God’s view of him rather than praying about him through my eyes of frustration.
A few years into our marriage I became the wife in the second example. I prayed Lord, please change me. I also prayed for God to change my husband and to bless him and our marriage. I prayed for our marriage to honor the Lord. This type of praying matured me spiritually and opened the door for my husband to give his life to Christ. For several years the road wasn’t easy, but the journey was worth it!
If you don’t already, pray for your husband not about him. Pray for him by name. Make it personal. Pray for him through God’s eyes not through the frustrations you may feel. I invite you to pray and speak the Word of God (Bible) over your husband for that is God’s perfect will for him. Here’s an example:
(personal photo of me and my hubby)
Abba Father, I lift my husband Peter to You. Thank You for working in his heart in ways seen and unseen. Thank You for blessing our covenant. I love Peter deeply and I am so thankful, Abba, that we can see Your hand of wisdom, direction, love, strength, peace and purpose in our marriage. I pray Your divine favor over Peter spiritually and at his place of employment. I pray for Peter to continue to grow in the knowledge of Your grace and mercy. I pray for Peter to continue to walk in obedience to the leading of Your Holy Spirit. May Peter continue to be a living witness for Your Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank You Abba for keeping Peter safe from all harm and for keeping Peter in clarity and peace of mind. I pray for Peter to remain humble before You. May Peter’s life give You all the praise, honor and glory. I pray with a heart of gratitude in the precious Name of Jesus! Amen and Amen.
Feel free to use the prayer above as a starting point and use your husband’s name. Please consider these questions:
1. Is your marriage filled with the joy and peace of God?
2. Do you pray for or about your husband?
4. Do you pray for God to change you as well?
5. What is the next step you are prepared to do to cooperate with God in the wholeness of your marriage?
Begin to pray for your husband and yourself daily. Pray for your marital covenant without anxiety and you will see the peace of God step in and soon you will begin to see your marriage through God’s eyes and that’s a beautiful sight to see!