Is saying No a struggle for you? I remember when it was for me. In my teens and 20’s the thought of saying no to any request made me cringe until I reached a point where my inability to say no became harmful to my well-being.
Since early on I was a leader. I was raised and influenced by my amazing Grandparents to love God, family and people, and to be a servant-leader. In both business and ministry leadership positions came very natural for me. People put labels on me — extrovert, bold, strong, intelligent, strong work-ethic, organized, trust-worthy, caring and compassionate but no one said people-pleaser but that’s exactly what I was a people-pleaser. I had struggled with it for many years at that time.
With God’s help I got to the root of what had caused the people-pleasing (from my childhood), so that I could make the necessary changes in my life. One of those changes was I had to make the decision to be a leader not a crowd pleaser. It changed everything for me because I began to set boundaries in my life. One of the biggest boundaries I set was if it’s not for me it’s OK to say, No thank you. I no longer permitted people to talk me into doing what was solely best for them if it wasn’t good for me.
27 years later I can tell you that of all the boundaries I’ve established in my personal, professional and ministerial life one of the best has been knowing when to say yes and when to say, no thank you and being OK with my decision.
Part of being a good leader is identifying the changes we must make in our own lives and then doing what it takes to see those changes come about. It makes us available for God to use our lives to serve others in great ways. We can say, Here am I. Send me. (Isaiah 6:8) In other words, I’m willing, ready and available for God to use my life in service to others.
Don’t be afraid to say No, thank you. It’s OK and necessary to set that necessary boundary. If you struggle in this area I recommend that you get the help needed to get to the root of it so that you no longer feel held hostage to the need to say Yes or the fear of saying No. I’m here to help you through it. A coach who cares can help you to get from where you are to where you want to be. Contact me and let’s get started.
It’s time to soar,