“Kill ’em with Kindness”

Be encouraged in the team of women here to bless you in Women Walking with Jesus

By Andrea Perdue

“My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!” 1 John 4:11-12 The Message

As a young child I would run to my Papa when people were mean and he would always tell me to “kill ’em with kindness.” It sounds a bit harsh and most people don’t think it’s a worthwhile choice, but I’m beyond thankful I heard this phrase time and time again.

I felt I was experiencing more than my share of injustices, but I began heeding Papa’s advice. Each time I would report ill words or actions to Papa he would say, “Andee, Jesus tells us to love all people and that includes the ones that aren’t nice; Kill ’em with kindness!”

My response was usually, “but I don’t want to. That’s not fair.”

Papa always agreed it wasn’t fair and he also reminded me that people were mean to Jesus, yet He loved them (all of us) so much He died for them/us. Yes, He even died for the unlovable/unlikeable ones.

My Papa died when I was fifteen years old. Yet, over the years, I’ve heard those words in my heart each time I encounter people who seem pretty unlovable. Most of the time, I have surrendered to the words “kill ’em with kindness,” but I fully admit many of those times my heart wasn’t completely into my actions of surrender. It was an act of obedience and respect. I knew it was “the right thing to do” even when I wasn’t fully into doing it.

“Kill ’em with kindness” has always been effective. At the very least it has diffused many situations. Recently, God has given me the opportunity to “kill ’em with kindness” in some areas and with some people I did not want to communicate with at all. Again, I see God’s hand at work in the heart of others, but most importantly in my own heart. You see, my heart is finally catching up to the action I’ve been taking for many years.

I’m thankful for a grandfather who set a foundation of love, grace, and forgiveness in a little girls life before he entered eternity and I’m even more thankful for a Heavenly Father who honored the effort of obedience in the heart of a child and adult(me).

“It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?” Galatians 5:13-15 The Message

Are you struggling with being kind when you are faced with unkind/unloving people? “Kill ’em with kindness” doesn’t make sense to the outside world, because it contradicts the worlds way. God’s way is better and I am here as a witness that God’s way works. The worlds way is retaliation and that certainly doesn’t work. So, what do you have to lose? Try God’s way and be found loving the unlovable and being kind to the unkind.

phone pics 121Andrea Perdue.  I’m a wife, mom to a blended family, nana, and friend who embraces life seeking to become the person God created me to be. My days are full, but there is always time for writing, reading, and sharing Jesus grace and love with others. It’s my prayer God will use me in the craziness of each day. Please connect with Andre at  Arise2Write or on faceook.com./andrea.perdue







14 Responses to “Kill ’em with Kindness”

  1. Ah such good advice from your Papa. It can be all too easy to respond in kind but Jesus calls us to live a life of love. A wonderful reminder when life can be so hard. I’ve found that hurting people tend to hurt other people. So we’ll ‘killem with kindness’.

    Blessings and love,

  2. It can be heartbreaking to be faced with those who do not seem to have a filter to guard their words as they speak. I am reminded of the little song which powerfully influenced my heart at a young age. “Oh, be careful little mouth what you say, oh be careful little mouth what you say: for the Father up above, is looking down in love: oh be careful little mouth
    what you say.” We cannot control the hurtful remarks of others, however we can point them to the one who has given us the grace to respond in love.

    Thankful to know your heart,


  3. Love this advice! When I worked in a bank (waaaay back in the day) I was told that when customers started to get upset, I should talk calmer and softer the louder they got. It worked beautifully! I would respond to their irateness with a soft and quiet voice and after a few minutes, they would quiet down themselves. Sometimes, they actually apologized!

    Blessings, Joan

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