Hurting people can indeed hurt other people. Look out because you just may be in their line of fire but there’s hope. There is a heart-response we can take to protect ourselves.
- Do you have a loved one that is breaking your heart, is estranged from you or goes out of his or her way to be unkind to you?
- Do you know a person at work who is just super difficult to get along with? You often find yourself trying to avoid them.
- Is there a person at your church that has a gossip, judgmental, divisive or critical spirit? They are always creating trouble among others.
- Do you have a nasty neighbor and you just wish God would relocate him or her to a different neighborhood or how about a nasty boss or a controlling leader?
The unkindness of people can really drain the energy right out of you if you allow it and if you’re not careful you may find yourself responding to their disrespectful, rude or hurtful behavior in a negative way.
I had an experience this morning that really saddened my heart. As I sat in my car in the parking lot with my window rolled down, attempting to display kindness to someone, she barked back at me with all the anger she could muster up. This person, whom I know very well, is a very angry, unhappy, person who has made some very negative, destructive choices with her life for many years. I could discern immediately that the enemy wanted me to get upset and lash back at her very unkind behavior but I knew better. Instead, I prayed for her and left.
As I drove away I was reminded of a very true reality, hurting people can indeed hurt other people.
- Empty or hurting hearts
- Raw and negative emotions
- Bad experiences due to wrong choices
- Bad experiences due to what others may have done to you…
These are open wounds and those wounds must be healed in order for you to live the life God has for you. Do you realize the energy it takes to be angry all the time? When people are hurting inside, deep in the core of their being, they will probably hurt others. You can only give out what you have within you to give. Even if you attempt to hide your feelings from the world around you, your behavior will eventually expose you. When those wounds are released to God then healing can begin but until then whatever the hurt is, if you continue to carry it, it will expose you as you begin to hurt others:
- Long term grief
- Unresolved Anger
- Rebellion against God
- Secret Sins and hurts kept in the closet of our hearts
- Hatred toward people who are different from you
- Judgmental/Critical spirit
- Suspicious/Paranoid spirit
- Unresolved past pain
- Hurtful and destructive words
If you are the hurting person, I strongly encourage and pray for you to go to God and release the pain to Him. You can trust that His intentions toward you are always for your good and never for evil. Find that area of need in the Bible. Saturate yourself in those passages to learn what God says about that hurt and pray to release it to Him. It won’t be easy and you’ll need to stay in the Word and pray to God daily and often about that area until you can fully release it to Him. God wants to take your hurts and restore to your heart gladness and joy. I can’t say it as good as God’s Word says it:
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV) The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
If you are the person on the receiving end of the hurts of others, go back to the opening paragraph where I said there is a heart-response we can have to protect ourselves. I noted it in the next paragraph where I said, “Instead, I prayed for her and left.” I bold emphasized “Instead, I prayed…” because that is the heart-response we must have. We can engage the battle by getting angry, upset, arguing and lashing back at the person lashing at you and while your flesh may receive a temporary satisfaction, you will hinder your own joy and peace and your behavior won’t be pleasing to God. Or you can have an instead response. You can choose to pray and let God handle the situation. That’s not always easy but it’s doable with God’s help.
Make up your mind that you’re not going to allow the behavior or actions of others to cause you to get upset and react, instead you’re going to choose to pray and let God handle the situation. Then, you leave it with Him. He can handle it better than you or I could anyway. And remember, we don’t always know why a person behaves the way that he or she does. Praying for them opens the door for God to do His perfect will and work in their lives and keeps us on a path that pleases Him.
If you need help with learning how to release pain to God, reach out to me. I want this to be the year that you live the exceptional life God has for you. You can’t if you are riddled with emotional, mental and spiritual pain–riddled with anger and other emotions and negative thoughts that are hindering your ability to genuinely love and to accept the love God and others have for you.
Praying an exceptional year in the Lord for you,